Wednesday, 7 January 2015

LPR, or Let's Plan the Rest

2015 started with (believe it or not), my Green Card in hand, ready to face the new year as a Legal Permanent Resident. My attorney has since followed up to let me know everything is settled as regards paperwork and payment, and he will be in touch again in about two years when I will be eligible for citizenship.

So, what now? I've been faced with this question for the past 10 days or so, and I have to say, I'm a bit stumped. This blog is about being an expat on a journey, and it seems like my journey is, for now and in this specific way, at a significant pause. Initially I took this news with enormous relief, and I definitely wouldn't want to go through all of that uncertainty and worry again. But you'll have to forgive me for also feeling rather lost and confused, and kind of frustrated (yes, really!). While I hated, and think I still hate, limbo, I had become accustomed to not knowing. I'd almost become able to live in the moment, initially because I had no other choice, but towards the end of that period because it had become pleasant to not have to think ahead about the longer term planning of my life. Not being able to know gave me license, permission, to not worry about not knowing.

I'm now trying to reconcile having learned how to sort of "live in the now" with finally being able to look to the future (and feeling like I should, because that's just my personality - crazy person, remember?). What does that mean? Should I have some kind of goals? It's not like I've been making silly, unreasonable choices or not thinking ahead at all, but I've definitely not been thinking about a bigger picture. Do I need to start planning? Or can I just continue in this laissez-faire manner, and see where the wind takes me?

A combination of the two seems like the best option, and I've been toying with an idea of 'The Twelve Adventures of America', to give myself a project for the year without pushing myself to plan too much on a more 'serious' level. Both my boyfriend and my friends take great pleasure in getting me to do the most "'MURRICAN" of things, and so it might be fun to pursue some America-themed or traditionally American exploits, and then write about those for QE, from the lens of a Brit out of water. Or even v-log about them, if possible! So I guess what I need to do now is come up with 12 appropriately 'Murrican escapades for 2015, and get to it. Any ideas?!